He is a master of dad jokes. 100 Funny Puns which will crack you up! Me: I am still not at Yeezy level yet You planet. To wrap up is to complete or finish something, like a project. If you bring a fence post, it must look like a fence post. A Pun So Sweet, You'll Want to Lick the Wrapper. I used to work in a shoe recycling shop. I was looking for something behind the couch and I said "Damn, there's a lot of wrappers behind here" my friend snaps back with "Is 50 Cent behind there?". I had an elderly patient today who was visibly upset, almost to the point of tears. Dad doing some Christmas present wrapping, Dad joked while getting a tour of a glass factory. Dad: I said a hip hop the hippie to the hippie to the hip hip hop and you don't stop to rock it. Right then and there I knew exactly what he was doing and I couldn't stop it. Why did the cookie cry? She just groaned and walked off to the bedroom. I gave my wife a nickname and it's "Candy". (Because Jokes That Sphinx, Mummy Complex Puns, and Dry Wrap Humor Could Never Be TOO Mainstream!) The reason why a turkey crosses the road is to show that he is not a chicken. My dad stops walking and says "elevators hey"? For bringing home the bacon. Wrap → Rap: As in, “It’s a rap ” and “Keep under raps ” and “ Rap it up” and “ Rapped around your little finger.” Rep* → Rap* : We can replace the “rep” sound in words with “rap” to make some sneaky rap-related puns, as in: “A false rap ort ” and “Banana rap ublic .” After I finished swearing a blue streak and started cleaning up, she just casually said: Most of this is my own work, if not, it was inspired by something clever! If you come up with a new pun, please share it in the comments! He hands it too me and says, "Whelp.. that about wraps it up. So my Pops asks if I could help him get the Christmas "stuff" down from the loft with him. I definitely wouldn't call you Yeezy. My Fiancé was heading to bed while I was wrapping up some work. Wrap it up in that old shirt that is always the brunt of some joke. We had to go to shopping soon before the store closed. Just roll it up to a marked spot and voila, a perfect roll. My mate hates it when I put his chocolate bars in different wrappers. Lightning was starting to crackle above me, so I thought I should try to take a shortcut to make my hike back quicker. Here's a few of his finer ones. A big list of wrapping paper jokes! The feeling didn't last long as I thumped down on slippery earth a second later. Dad: What did the baby plastic want to be when it grew up? He dipped his green toe in to the green water to check the temperature, then he slowly lowered his whole green self in to the green bath. We have a daily meeting in the morning where we discuss what we did the day before, what we're doing today and if we're having any issues. We get it wrapped and he drives me to the emergency room. No I got them all cut. Have you heard of that new movie, “Constipation”? Keep the cheesy potatoes out of my package. History. When I went to the doctor, he started wrapping up my left leg, but then I pointed at my right and said “No, doc, it’s dis knee.”. ... You gotta chick out these 15 bird puns that will quack you up while you’re at it. I'm beginning to think most of the jokes here come from Laffy Taffy wrappers. ", He stares at me with a blank, uncomprehending expression and I continue, "An emancipation...proclamation? Why do you always wrap my birthday gifts in weird fabric? Me: "Oh its good, just not enough verses.". Also, I've stopped asking him to call my phone when I misplace it because I'm tired of the "what do you want me to call it?" Protect the fish then dip it in the dish. My friend said that he wraps empty boxes to put under the tree. What do you call an elf that doesn't sing? A few minutes later the ambulance arrived, and they rushed him off to the hospital. I immediately called 911, then yelled for my wife to help. She pays you with a $100 bill. Related Searches. My buddy told me to try drinking Windex. It’s a little fishy. Dad, can you put my shoes on? Gift Wrapping Ideas I've always been up for a good laugh, and these wacky gift wrapping ideas wont disappoint! You spend too much time on the web. One day, I was windexing our glass displays. Please help. I work in a medical lab. I had wrapped up a sandwich from the dining hall and put it in my winter hat so I could sneakily carry it out...so when we got back to my room, I took the sandwich out and there was lettuce in my hat. He felt like bacon. cover puns wrapper puns enwrap puns envelop puns enfold puns wrap up puns shroud puns cloak puns roll puns enclose puns wind puns wrapping puns sheathe puns covering puns enshroud puns envelope puns film puns engulf puns coverage puns tie puns. Click here for more information. He was elfish. To wrap her gifts to my kids. Don’t be a fool, cover your tool. Dad pulls a quick one while out at dinner. In fact, you cannot use recycled posts from other people's yards. 18. How much does a hipster weigh? 2. "Why would I want to eat the wrapper?" Rain, dear. 8 award-winning food puns for your Oscars party menu. Share Show Dropdown. By the time we got there the bleeding had stopped and I have stopped crying. Looks like I failed. 8. She said that she didn’t know who the cat belonged to and that she had it wrapped up in a blanket in her car. I found out at an young age that no situation is too serious for him. Abby: Are you nuts? I heard a scary math joke, but I’m 2^^2 to tell it! I knew I should've wrapped up the sandwich before leaving it on the table. Tackling the copper wrap plate requirement: wrap plating improves reliability of via structures, but conventional techniques increase surface copper thickness, limiting HDI and other fine-line designs Favorite. ", "Yea, he got stuck about right here." Favorite. When Queen Elizabeth farts, everyone in the room must pretend like nothing happened. Roll up. 9) It will be sweeter if you wrap your peter 10) If you slip between her thighs, condomize 11) She won't get sick if you wrap your dick 12) If you go into heat, package your meat 13) While your undressing Venus, dress up your penis 14) When you take off her pants and blouse, suit up your mouse 15) Especially in December, gift wrap your member His big toe was cut off and his foot was very bloody. I just had a physical. A father is explaining ethics to his son, who is about to go into business. It came in today, and he asked me to help put it together. Get wrapped up in tomb-mendous jokes, embalmed dry humor, and sere-ious mummy puns. {My brothers will just cringe with #10!} Why was the meat packer arrested? My Dad loves to tell this joke when he meets new people. The best bacon-and-eggs of your life. We love writing puns because they catch you off guard and give us the chance to switch up meanings in a fun way. The best electricity puns are live wires. An elf-help book. -What do they spell with at the North Pole? A new pistol with the mandatory waiting period....". That's a wrap! I called the animal shelter today and said "I've found six kittens in a suitcase in the woods." So My roomate invited me to his family Thanksgiving/holiday party yesterday. Eyeglass makers who profit well can frame their success. My dog just killed it. Sitting in booth, after ordering some chicken wraps. As soon as he gets up there I see that the most accessible and logical box to take down first is the one with the wrapping paper. To make your presents felt. So my dad just got his concealed weapons permit recently so for Christmas my step mom got him a new pistol. Chappelle's Show S1 E3. It was a party around Halloween-time, but not specifically a Halloween party. What happens to nitrogen when the sun rises? -If we keep that fire on he’s going to be Krisp Kringle. A real toe? I was just logging into my workstation to check my e-mail and I turned to my co-worker and asked, "Hey, so when a juvenile gets emancipated, and he announces it - proclaims it, if you will - what would they call that? I told my wife to bring me our cooler with an ice pack, then I put the toe in the cooler. I am pressed for time. Go ahead and listen to the dulcet tones of 70 hilarious Music Puns!